if i ever invent something, im going to name it “jesus” and use this as my advertising campaign
making a joke in front of a ton of people and having them all crack up is one if the most beautiful feelings you’ll ever feel don’t deny it
do you guys remember when:
a doctor was just someone who gave you medicine
Sherlock Holmes was just a character in a book
a demon was just something under your bed
angels all had white wings and were good
HP was just a printer
rings were just kept to look nice
4 was just a number
a mockingjay was just a bird
ships were just boats
tumblr was a website you had never heard of
back when sanity was actually a thing one had
about a week ago i found this in a goodwill, one of those “grow in water” toys but
there’s no pictures of what might be inside besides the awful baby clipart, and i am insanely curious about whats actually in the egg
15 hour adventure starting now
9 hours in and there is a crack on the egg, i repeat, crack on the egg
what if it’s really not a baby and it’s a turd
WELL WE GON FIND OUT
hour 23 WHAT THE FUFCK IS THAT
THE EGG CONTAINED SOME KIND OF ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY THAT IS NOT A BABY ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT
I JUST WENT AHEAD AND TOOK IT APART
OH
HOLY PISSING HELL
MY CHILD
